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[30 Jan 2005|08:53pm] |
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mood |
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 cranky |
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so school starts tomorrow and i am officially UNEXICTED!everything has been good during break ..except im really sick of my mom yelling at me for everything..she says one thing one day and another the next..and she wonders why i dont have people over but when i do she ends up sitting in my room with them giving them the fucking third degree..and she had the nerve to tell me the other day and she is not judgemental..i can scream just thinking about it..oh and boys suck..i think i should give up on that in general..and the thought of valentines day makes me sad..in general i am not having a good day..SOMEONE CHEER ME UP!!
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[05 Jan 2005|03:10am] |
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mood |
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 chipper |
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so me and tim got back from visiting alissa in utah yesterday after the flight was delayed three hours.. it was a lot of fun being there but i was definately ready to come home..i do miss the snow though..so tonight i finally apologized to my dance teacher and she offered me a job teaching FINALLY!!! im glad to be home
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[27 Dec 2004|02:16am] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
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so tonight me and melissa took joey to the strip club. as usual he objected and was really mad but we made him anyways. so we got there and some how made friends with one and by the end of the night gave joey a lap dance. he got his face shoved in places i never thought he would. me and melissa laughed so hard we cried. just to see that was worth everything! anyways christmas was awsome. it was the first time i got to wake up with a family and open gifts. anyways this weekend was the best
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[21 Dec 2004|02:23am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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i would have to say that liking someone is a pain in the ass..worrying about where they are when they are not with you or feeling your stomach drop when they dont call you back...why bother
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[14 Dec 2004|01:52am] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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i know i am much better..i can see him and not cry at all but i still cant see him and not feel sick..how can one person have so much power over me..at least i know it is fading...i am scared i have done it again..i am scared that i scared someone off...i am scared i give him too much attention...i try to never call him ..i figure if he wnats to talk to me he will call me..but i send him a few text messages and get scared that hell find it annoying..i dont want to be scared...he tells me i need more confidence..i know i do...but how can anyone be confident in liking someone unless they know exactly how the other person feels..i dont want to scare him off...but the truth is i dont know what would or wouldnt
on a lighter note i went to go see finding neverland with melissa and it was awsome..i love how the guy in front of her had some mysterious red light on top of his head..well to make matters worse she leans forward and opens her cell phone for light to look at it so ofcoarse i bust up laughing..then she cant leave it at that..she has to tell the guy at sav on that she will give him my number..thank god she lied about it..but she did give it to a car full of guys driving next to us and ofcoarse they call 5 minutes later..well that was my fun of the evening..gotta love winter break
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[30 Nov 2004|01:22am] |
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mood |
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 depressed |
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so what do you do when you find out that one of the most important people in your life might move away..what do you do except sit and cry your eyes out....he is what has kept me together and sane and been there for me through everything..yes i have friends here and i wouldn't be alone but i dont want to be here without him..i was finally at a point in my life where i was content...i almost never feel that way..ive been so happy..why does that happiness always have to be ripped right out of my hands..i dont want to cry anymore..i finished that months ago...i hate when you hurt so bad and there is nothing not one thing that you can do about it...cant god leave me one thing just one thing to be happy about
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[28 Nov 2004|01:09am] |
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mood |
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 curious |
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sometimes i wonder if i get attached to anyone who will let me...i can't believe who i like right now..who would have ever known that would happen..it somehow always turns out that way though..but this time it has no potential of a relationship..and somehow im ok with that..for now anyways..so confused and can't wait for the semester to be over!!!!
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[14 Nov 2004|11:43pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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i would love a day to just be free..to do nothing...i hate feeling anxiety!!!! i want to relax and i can't..school sucks
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[02 Nov 2004|11:59pm] |
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mood |
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pessimistic |
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is happiness something impossible for me to accomplish..how can one person change your life forever and make you feel horrible for such a long time..i didn't know it was possible to care about someone so much..i do not care what anyone says about age and how we are too young to love..i know differently....i feel the difference..everyone will say ya your stupid for still caring or why cant you just get over it..why cant i get over it?...god i feel like telling them to go fall in love and have it ripped away from them..dont talk to me about it unless you know whats its like..and until you know what its like you wont do me any good
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[30 Oct 2004|12:12am] |
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mood |
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 cold |
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so im driving to school and i stop at the red light and this guy slams into me so i slam into the lady in front of me..she goes to yell at the guy and he says he is going to pull over but he drives off!..so my mom comes after my crying attack and i trade cars with her..great idea that was..some other guy hits the corner of that car and drives off..ok how is it possible to have two hit and runs in the same night???tonight was just absolutely fabulous..cant say i have had that much fun in a while!
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[27 Oct 2004|10:23pm] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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there isnt a worse feeling than to have the guy you like tell you about the girl he likes!
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[19 Oct 2004|01:19am] |
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mood |
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sad |
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so i went to starbucks with melissa and joey and guess who i see there..THE EX! at first i freaked out but then went up to him and talked to him but ofcoarse i busted out crying hopinhg he wouldnt see..anyways i told him id talk to him in ten years and walked away..he got fat and ugly..it figures since im not telling him what to eat anymore..but still my heart breaks everyday and when i see him it hurts more than anything to know he doesnt care about me at all..my stomach hurts just thinking about it..well anyways im single boys..hit me up lol
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[16 Oct 2004|11:52pm] |
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mood |
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okay |
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yay its finally raining! i hate rain when i have to be outside in it alot but i love just looking out the window at it and hearing it..it reminds me of so many good times i have had..its weird how i always relate weather to other things and to feelings i have. so im kinda excited about halloween..i want to be tinkerbell or as daniel would say "kinky tink"..sometimes i wonder if the things that suck in my life will ever change..like is my mom ever gonna let me grow up and go out of the fucking house without her yelling at me..i mean come on its 11 on a sturday and i say im leaving and she assumes im going out to do something bad..what fucking 18 year old doesnt go out late...why doesnt she look back on her own life and realize what its like to be my age..i mean she trusted me more when i actually was doing bad things...thats why i just tell her to shove it and leave the house..and maybe if she would realize that i am always leaving because i hate being here shell change something..oh well enough complaing for one day
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[13 Oct 2004|11:19pm] |
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mood |
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 satisfied |
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tonight was awsome..a night out with the girls!.nothing like flirting with the cute waitor
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[13 Oct 2004|12:03am] |
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mood |
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amused |
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my mood has been pretty good lately..i shoudnt be saying that because im sure that will change by tomorow...wow good times at the beach tonight.there is nothing like watching your friend take off their pants and squat to pee in the sand..FANTASTIC!
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[11 Oct 2004|11:06pm] |
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mood |
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 tired |
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ok this is what i don't understand..girls always think that there are no guys that want gf's..then you find a guy who says the same things about girls..why dont the girls and guys who want relationships ever find eachother?
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[07 Oct 2004|01:15am] |
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mood |
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depressed |
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there is nothing worse than not wanting to be alone but having a fear of liking someone or a fear of committing..its horrible to feel like you cant trut anyone ever again because being hurt again is just something you cant handle..im scared i will never love again and that i will never trust again
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[30 Sep 2004|10:38pm] |
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mood |
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aggravated |
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well its a real kick in the ass when you find out someone is not genuine or honest as a friend..doesnt that blow..off to studying
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[29 Sep 2004|12:00am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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its so annoying when your friend gets all the guys! what the hell am i doing wrong? ugh it makes me just want to stay home
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[22 Sep 2004|10:08pm] |
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mood |
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 sick |
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i am sick of being sick!
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